Heavy Holidays

As the holidays approach, I am finding myself thinking of mom more and more. Instead of allowing the happy memories to comfort me, I am instead finding them sad. It's hard to picture what Thanksgiving and Christmas will be like without her at the table, telling everyone where to sit (if you've ever been to a gathering of people with my mom, or you are a member of the Smyrna Presbyterian Choir, then you know what I am talking about!).

Our Christmas Tree is the tree she bought for herself a few years ago and gave to us. All of the decorations I use to decorate my house were purchased at a mother-daughter morning at Reeves up here in Woodstock the year before mom got sick. My favorite Christmas albums are Manheim Steamroller - mom would play them every year starting with the day after Thanksgiving. Everything Christmas to me is mom. She even spent Chrismtas 2005 up here with us and we had such a good time.

I love this time of year. I love Christmas and family time and worship services. And while I am looking forward to Christmas, I am not. Because I know that this year, I won't be able to open presents with her or sing carols in harmony.

Mom's Christmas card to me last year is still on my fridge. I felt I needed to keep it last year and I am glad I did. The inside reads, "I am so proud of you. I love you so much. - Mom". I think I will stick that in an envelope and mail it to myself this year. Like she sent it from heaven.

On a lighter note, now that mom's not here to gather the troops, I have taken on the responsibility of getting everyone together about once a month as a family. I think mom would be proud. :) Here is a pic from our last outing this Sunday at Olive Garden.