Well, I guess I will kind of keep a journal of dealing with mom's passing here. It's been very therapeutic for me in processing everything that has happened up to now, so I guess I will keep going!
Today was really hard. Not only because it's Mother's Day but this is the longest I have ever gone without talking to mom and it's becoming more real now. I miss her soo much.
I found myself almost reaching for the phone the other day because I wanted to call her and tell her how much money I had raised for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
Today's sermon was about God's comfort and I almost felt like it was specifically for me. His comfort IS with me but I miss mom so much today, it's hard to feel that comfort right now. Stu and I visited her grave and that was good for me. We don't have her marker out there yet, it is being made but should be out there in about a month.
I wanted to share this special story with everyone. I think you all will get a kick out of it. I had decided that I wanted a tattoo of mom's name. So I planned it out, drew how I wanted it to be and for weeks had decided I was getting a tattoo. I had even goen to the parlor and picked out the artist who was going to do it. Last Friday, I got in the car with Stu and drove to the tattoo salon. As soon as I stepped foot out of the car, this feeling rushed over me of uncertainty, it was like I changed my mind but I hadn't. I knew it was mom trying to convince me not to do it! It was the weirdest thing! So I got right back in the car and didn't get it. I don't think I ever will. Kritta didn't like that idea one bit! And I could feel that;) It was kinda neat. I hope she is there like that for me when I'm about to make a big mistake with raising my kids! That's when I will really need that 2nd opinion!
2 comments:
Lindsey, I prayed for you yesterday. I still miss my mother and it's been 13 years. I remember how I used to think "I'll call Mom and tell her this" then realize I couldn't. I do the same with your Mom. We spent sooo much time on the phone that even now I will think of something I want to tell her. I will never have a best friend like Krista again; it takes time to make such a bond. I will be checking the blog often because I'm not ready to let it go. I did what I needed to do for grieving my mother and left the timetable for healing with God. We can do the same for Krista.But you're right; she definitly DOES NOT want you to get a tattoo!
My love and prayers,Susan Porter
LINDSEY,
YOUR MOM WAS ALWAYS SO PROUD OF YOU!! BUT ABOUT THE TATTOO........ YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WOULD DO... I THINK YOUR TATTOO WOULD LOOK MORE LIKE A RED BLOB ON YOUR BACKSIDE!!! HEE
YOUR MOM IS ALIVE AND WELL IN HEAVEN, WATCHING ALL OF US. I JUST CUT HER PICTURE OUT OF THE PROGRAM AND PUT IT IN A FRAME AND IT IS NOW ON A SHELF IN MY OFFICE.
SO, I AM STILL WORKING WITH HER.. AND LOVING HER AS I HAVE ALWAYS.
WHEN AND IF I GET TO HEAVEN I AM GOING TO ASK GOD ABOUT THE IDEAS OF TELEPHONE LINES BETWEEN HERE AND THERE.... HOW IS KRISTA DOING WITHOUT A PHONE????!!!!!!!! THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!!! FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!! DO THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE DEALING WITH? AND, IF THERE IS NOT A MARSHALLS UP THERE, WELL THAT WON'T WORK AT ALL!!!!! BUT, I THINK THERE IS , OR SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN BACK BY NOW.
REMEMBER, LIFE GOES ON. FOREVER.
LOVE YOU INEEDA, LYNN
Post a Comment